As students with limited resources at our fingertips and so much on our plates, we may often find ourselves at our wits’ end when we see our friends and peers struggling. It’s not easy to watch someone we care about go through hard times, especially when we feel unsure about how to help. However, even without all the answers, there are ways we can support and be there for our friends.
Choosing the right moment to start a conversation
Firstly, choosing the right time and place is essential when you want to talk to a friend who’s having a hard time. It’s best to find a quiet spot where you won’t be interrupted or overheard, like a calm corner of the school library or a park bench after school. Also, pick a time when neither of you is in a hurry, like during lunch break or after school. This makes your friend feel more comfortable and shows them that you’re really there to listen and care about what they’re going through.
Approaching your friend
Now, it can be very tricky to start a conversation with a friend who’s struggling. It’s good to begin with something light or general, like talking about a class you both have or a funny thing that happened. This helps your friend feel more relaxed. Then, you can gently steer the conversation to how they’re doing. You could say something like, “Hey, I’ve noticed you’ve seemed a bit quiet lately, is everything okay?” This shows you care and gives them a chance to open up if they want to, without feeling too much pressure.
Be empathetic!
Now to the most important part – Showing empathy to a friend, especially and even when you don’t quite understand their point of view. Let’s say they’re stressed over the coming exam that you aren’t worried about because it’s not graded. Their feelings are still valid and so are yours!
Sometimes, we might not agree with our friend’s thoughts or the way they’re handling things, but what they need most is someone to listen. When a friend opens up to you, they’re usually looking for support, not advice or solutions. It’s best to listen with an open heart and not jump into being too logical or critical. Being too practical or judgmental can make your friend feel worse, like they’re not being understood. It’s all about letting them know you’re there for them, no matter what. Remember, empathy is about feeling with someone, not fixing them.
Be a good listening ear
Listening is one of the best ways you can help a friend who’s going through a tough time. When they start to talk about what’s bothering them, it’s really important to listen carefully without interrupting. Show that you’re paying attention by nodding or saying things like, “I see,” or “That sounds hard.” Avoid jumping in with your own stories or trying to quickly fix their problems. Just by listening, you’re helping a lot. It makes your friend feel heard and understood. Often, people feel a lot better just knowing someone is there to truly listen to them.
Seeking exterior help
If it seems like they’re really struggling, like if they’re down all the time or talking about big worries, it might be a good idea to suggest they talk to someone who can help more, like a school counsellor. It’s important to let them know there’s no shame in getting help, and you as a student might not be equipped with the right “tools” to help them just yet. Sometimes, talking to a professional can make a big difference.
Check up on them
After talking to your friend, keep checking in with them by sending a quick message like, “How’s it going?” to show you care. But don’t overdo it – everyone needs their space. If they’re really down and it’s not getting better, you could gently suggest talking to someone like a school counsellor. It’s okay to get help when things are tough, and sometimes a counsellor can really help them feel better. Just being there and showing you care can make a big difference for your friend.
Conclusion: Ultimately, you can be a great support for your friend, showing them they’re not alone and that someone cares. That alone can be a huge comfort during difficult times.
